Tour de Puke

More truth than myth, the Tour de Puke has a long and illustrious history. The brainchild of legendary Nashville cyclists Larry Baker, Wes Allen, John White, and Steve Cochran and facilitated by the likes of Jim Fitzpatrick and Carter Overton, the Tour de Puke is perennially the most challenging and underrated (non)event to grace the hills of Percy Warner park. Lance Armstrong is annually granted an honorary free registration, but he has yet to find the manhood to wheel the line.

Traditionally commencing on the last Saturday of that other annual bicycle Tour occurring in France, the Tour de Puke starts at the crack of dawn with a neutral start down the famed Belle Meade Boulevard before entering the Percy Warner park. Most people ride the neutral start humming the national anthem since the official anthem singer (Sheryl Crow) has never bothered showing up. The course tends to enjoy minor changes from year to year, but the enduring characteristic is riding every potential loop within the park to add up to roughly 100 kilometers. The competitors face many grueling hills (most of them multiple times) in the July heat of Nashville; the early start aids in survival, and no one wants to be on the course by the time the sun reaches its peak. The race finishers are welcomed home by a cheering person who wears a watch and carries a clipboard, recording all of the participants times for future generations to see.

The post race happenings will typically involve each racer retiring to his or her own home to nap away the heat of the day before venturing back out to attend the post-race banquet. A red-carpet affair, the banquet provides an opportunity for the racers to toast their accomplishments while discussing the day's trials and triumphs and re-building their camaraderie after a day of fierce competition.

Want to know more about the history of the Tour de Puke? Your best bet is to ask Larry. Don't know Larry? Well, you should.